1 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,735 Uh-huh. 2 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,909 Come on. 3 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,079 I can't look at that. Take it away. 4 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,414 Hey, I'm trying to work. 5 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,040 Sorry, what's your problem? 6 00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:44,043 No one wants to see this. It's very disturbing. 7 00:00:44,168 --> 00:00:45,379 Two people aren't allowed to be happy? 8 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:46,922 Well, you're allowed to be happy, 9 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,757 but not in front of me, so let's move it down. 10 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,259 - Okay. - All right. 11 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,010 Good. Thank you. 12 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,390 Uh, excuse me, Señor Larry. 13 00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,268 All the lights in here and in the hallway, they're all fixed. 14 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,436 You no have no more humming, no more vibrating. 15 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,730 - Everything is fixed. - Oh! Cesar, thank you so much. 16 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,774 That was driving me crazy, that humming. 17 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,859 Anything else you need from me, you give me a call 18 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,819 and I'll come here and fix it right away, okay? 19 00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,572 Oh, hey, Cesar. 20 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,868 - That's for you. - Oh. Oh, no, no, Señor Larry. I cannot accept that money. 21 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,453 This is my job. This is what I do. 22 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,539 It's a little bonus for you, a little extra. Take it. 23 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,625 Oh, it means-- it means a lot to me, Mr. Larry, 24 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,084 but I cannot take this. 25 00:01:25,209 --> 00:01:27,045 I-- I just don't feel comfortable. 26 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,506 This is what I do, sir. 27 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,926 Oh, Cesar, this is-- this is unprecedented! 28 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:36,221 This is rarer than a man turning down sex, what you've just done. 29 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,598 It just-- it doesn't happen! 30 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,808 Okay, Señor Larry. 31 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,893 I've never turned down sex in my life. 32 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,395 Me neither. 33 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,107 Huh! Cesar, this will not be forgotten anytime soon. 34 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,901 - Have a nice day. - Very commendable. 35 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,071 [Larry] So now, for some reason, 36 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,407 Funkhouser's gotten back together with this woman. 37 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,659 - I don't know why. She hates my guts. - Aww. 38 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,828 But nevertheless, he wants to go to brunch 39 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,665 and see if we can all get along, you know, so it's gonna be very awkward. 40 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,042 Just because of the tap water? 41 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:08,086 - Tap water, yes. Tap water. - Wow. 42 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,880 Hey, Eddie, breakfast! 43 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:10,714 Wow, tap water. 44 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:11,923 Here you go, sweetie. 45 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,175 Wow, look at the young man today! 46 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,635 Very nice hoodie you got there. 47 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,511 Mom, you're still dating this guy? 48 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,181 Yes, honey-- Yes, and she's enjoying it very much. 49 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,016 - Take your toast. - Where's the butter? 50 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,435 It's right there, quite visible. 51 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,104 I can't see the butter. Do it again. 52 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,231 He needs to see the butter. 53 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:31,109 I'll eat this one and I'll make you another one. 54 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,447 - Are you two having sex? - That's Mommy's business. 55 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,949 It's not really your business, but to tell you the truth, 56 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,285 it's imminent, okay? 57 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,745 Gross. 58 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,832 Sorry, he's really been having a tough time lately. 59 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,043 I-- I don't know how you let him get away with that toast thing. 60 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,712 This kid needs some structure in his life. He needs some discipline! 61 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,547 - I know, I know. - You're not tough enough. 62 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,133 I-- I know. There's this private school, and, uh... 63 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:59,262 I've been thinking about sending him, but it's really tough to get into, and... 64 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,555 I wanted to ask you a question. 65 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,808 Please say no if this is at all inappropriate, 66 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,144 but Susie happened to mention this very same school, Pemberton Academy, 67 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,604 where I'm trying to get him in. 68 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,648 You had donated some "Seinfeld" stuff there. 69 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,150 My assistant takes care of all that. I just you know. 70 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,153 - Okay, I just didn't know if you knew somebody, or... - Nah, I really don't. 71 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,156 - That's fine, that's fine. - If I could help, I would, but I don't know. 72 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,326 You know, I feel weird about sending him to boarding school anyway. 73 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,996 - Boarding school? - Yeah. 74 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:28,041 - How far away is it? - It's about an hour and a half. 75 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,336 I actually think it would be the best for him, but it would be hard for me 76 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,255 - just to be rattling around-- - I completely agree with you. 77 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,090 I think it would be a fantastic thing for him. 78 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,718 - Do you, really? - It's gotta be the-- you know what? 79 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,762 Get me a name get me a number-- whatever I can do to help. 80 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,097 - No. - Yes! 81 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,099 Give me some information, done! 82 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,934 That's really nice of you, Larry. 83 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,478 Thank you so much. It's gonna be so good for him. 84 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:53,942 Look, if I can send him an hour and a half away, I'm... more than happy to. 85 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,780 - [Larry] If I got those glasses... - [Bridget] Yeah? 86 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,449 We'd be-- we'd be twins. 87 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,826 That would be kind of hideous, wouldn't it? 88 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,786 Have you ever seen a couple with the same glasses? 89 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,372 By the way, when I say couple, I'm not referring to us as a couple. 90 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,333 - Yeah, excuse me. What are you-- hold on. - No, no, I'm not going there. 91 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:13,420 We're-- I-- you have not bought me the same glasses. 92 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,798 We don't have it like that just yet, my friend. 93 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,091 - Hi, guys. - Hi. 94 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,259 Can I bring you some water while you wait? 95 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,719 Still or sparkling? 96 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,928 - Sparkling. Yeah. - Yeah, sparkling. 97 00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:25,390 Ugh, boy, I can't tell you, I'm so relieved. 98 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,601 Thanks again for helping me out with the boarding school thing. 99 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,896 So, before I call the, um... 100 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,607 - Pemberton. - Pemberton, yes. Pemberton. 101 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:37,652 Do they-- do they know about the, uh, Asperger's? 102 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,904 Oh, yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah they're a great school. 103 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:44,451 They're-- they can-- they're just equipped to handle all kinds of special kids. 104 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,995 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 105 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,373 Has he been diagnosed by a doctor, or is this your opinion? 106 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:54,753 He's on the spectrum. Yeah. 107 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,963 How do you know? 108 00:04:57,088 --> 00:05:00,425 You can see in his behavior and what people have said, and, you know-- 109 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,052 He's, you know-- 110 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:06,139 He's been diagnosed on the-- on the spectrum. 111 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,060 Okay. 112 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:12,187 Oh. 113 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,358 - Hello? - [Cesar] Señor Larry, 114 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,859 it's Cesar from the office. 115 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,361 - Who? - Cesar! 116 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,904 You gave me the tip and I didn't take it? 117 00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:23,657 Yeah? 118 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,117 I'm here at the office building, fixing a leak, 119 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,245 and I was just wondering, after I'm done, 120 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,790 I could go to your office and watch the Argentina and Mexico game. 121 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,001 It's a very important game. It's for-- to qualify in the World Cup. 122 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,879 Why-- why-- why do you have to go-- why my office? 123 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,632 Because you got all the channels, sir. 124 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,219 - Yeah... yeah, okay. - Gracias, Señor Larry! 125 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,013 I will not forget this. You are the man. 126 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,974 - Okay. - Who's that? 127 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:52,561 - This handyman in my office building... - Uh-huh. 128 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,814 ...wants to go into my office to watch a soccer game. 129 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,732 I offered him a tip, but he didn't take the tip, 130 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,319 so I feel like I'm a little obligated to let him watch the game. 131 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:02,529 It's tricky. 132 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,197 - Hello! - Oh, hey! 133 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,657 Sorry we're late. 134 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:06,700 - Hi, I'm Marilyn. - LD. 135 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,118 - Hi! - Hi, nice to meet you. 136 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,077 - Yes, hi. - Hi. Marty Funkhouser. 137 00:06:10,202 --> 00:06:11,538 - Hi, great to meet you. - Great to meet you! 138 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,499 So, I-- I just wanna say, before we begin, 139 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:18,753 I-- I'd like to apologize for what happened between us. 140 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,132 That is not a true representation of who I am. 141 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,092 - Let's start fresh. - That means a lot to me. Okay. 142 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,386 - Yes! Yes! - Yes, let's do it. 143 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,930 Some sparkling water for the table? 144 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,309 No, no. We-- no, we don't want that. We want some tap water. 145 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,228 - You don't want sparkling? - No, get that out of here. Tap. 146 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,897 - Well, it's unfiltered. - Better. 147 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,815 Water is water. We're not water snobs. 148 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,108 - Very good. - [Larry] We don't care. 149 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,610 While you bring the tap, 150 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,194 bring us the best bottle of champagne 151 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,029 you have in the house to drink. 152 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,448 Okay? 153 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,033 We're gonna live it up! 154 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,702 Yeah, you know, sure. 155 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,871 Thank you, Larry. I really appreciate your apology. 156 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,748 - [Larry] Oh, yes. - No, it means a lot to me. 157 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,041 And some tap water for the table. 158 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,876 Tap water for the table. Look at this. 159 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,629 Look at this beautiful tap water. We got some here... 160 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,469 - Ah, look at that. - Mmm. 161 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,970 Ah, it really looks good. 162 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,558 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh, come on, buddy. 163 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,268 - There's a line. - There's a line. 164 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,227 You can't just walk up here. 165 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,063 Come on, man, you're being rude. 166 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,690 - They're in line. - You gotta get to the back, buddy. 167 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,818 - I'm just getting some potatoes. - I don't care. 168 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,236 One-- one minute! 169 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,406 One minute! Just a minute! 170 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,491 Are you getting seconds? 171 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,368 Yes, sir. 172 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,328 The man is getting seconds. 173 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,913 - It doesn't matter. - But that's not a rule. 174 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,041 The man has already waited on this line. 175 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:41,336 - Larry, we're hungry. - [Larry] We're all hungry. 176 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,420 I'm hungry, too! 177 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,880 But to make him wait 178 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:47,592 another 10 minutes for a few measly potatoes? 179 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,928 - Shame on you! Shame on all of you! - Okay. 180 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,430 That's not how we do things here in America. 181 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,393 We don't wait for seconds! Never, never wait for seconds! 182 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,853 It's fine, it's good. It's fine. 183 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,232 Sir, I would be proud to serve you. 184 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,776 - What do you want? - Potatoes. 185 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,030 - Thank you. Thank you, sir. - Sure, sure. 186 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,574 You're welcome. 187 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,619 - It's okay, really. - I didn't mean to overreact like that. 188 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:17,080 - Enjoy. - Enjoy yourself. 189 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,623 Thank you. Thanks. 190 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:20,792 [Larry] Ah! 191 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,293 - Oh, I love that sound! - All right! 192 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:25,797 - You like that? - I love that sound! 193 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,299 I mean, the good thing here is that if we want seconds, 194 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,593 - we go right to the front. - [Bridget] Straight to the front. 195 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,303 - Right? - Yep. 196 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:38,476 Boy, oh, boy. Ha, that's a lot of ketchup there. 197 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,227 I like ketchup. 198 00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:43,690 Yeah, uh, it seems a little excessive, no? 199 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,232 - Here we go! - Living it up! 200 00:08:45,357 --> 00:08:48,278 - Happiness, living it up! Okay? - [Bridget] Cheers! 201 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,405 I mean, you use too much ketchup, you know what happens? 202 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,866 They-- they convert to packs, to the little packets. 203 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,618 Is there a ketchup shortage? Like, "Oh, we're gonna run out of ketchup." 204 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,620 I wasn't saying there's a ketchup shortage, 205 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,999 it's just that if everybody uses as much ketchup as you do, 206 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,292 they would stop buying it. 207 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,419 As a matter of fact, I think I need more ketchup. 208 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,628 Mmm. 209 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,006 - [Bridget] Wow. - Hmm! 210 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,800 [Funkhouser] Why are we talking about this? 211 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,595 There's no way she could finish all that ketchup. ls there? 212 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,221 Watch me! 213 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,309 [Funkhouser] Let's just change the subject, okay? 214 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,434 Potatoes are delicious. 215 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:21,936 - Huh. - [Larry] Yeah. 216 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,522 [Marilyn] Oh, my God! Oh! 217 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,067 - Oh, my God! - [Funkhouser] Don't do that, don't do that. 218 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,693 Can we get a wet towel, somebody? 219 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,236 That's okay. It's okay, it's okay. 220 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,280 It's okay. Yeah, your sweater covers it fine. 221 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,908 You know, I-- I think I want-- I want to go home. 222 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,201 Oh, no! 223 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,035 - It's just a really bad stain. - Yeah, go. 224 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,788 - No, Larry, it's not that bad. - You got a bad stain. 225 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:40,914 I'm gonna go home. 226 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,624 I'm just feeling very uncomfortable. 227 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,583 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - Yeah, go. 228 00:09:44,708 --> 00:09:46,294 It's a-- it's a really bad stain. 229 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,463 It's a "go home" stain, you know what I mean? 230 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,381 - It was the fork. - I think it was the ketchup. 231 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,634 - Let's not argue over this. - [Marilyn] I'm so sorry. 232 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,470 It was lovely to meet you. You seem lovely. 233 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,764 - Yeah, take her home. - It's such a shame. 234 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,557 Nice job, once again. 235 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:02,559 - One of those things. - Gosh, another time, I guess. 236 00:10:02,684 --> 00:10:04,187 - Bye. - Bye. 237 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,397 Wow I feel so bad. 238 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,066 That was a disgusting display. 239 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,526 You couldn't let the ketchup go. 240 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,736 - Couldn't let it go. - Oh, boy. 241 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,614 Guess what. 242 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,908 Who's paying for the expensive champagne? 243 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,077 - Oh. - Yeah. 244 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,589 I want to thank you 245 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,259 for defending me in front of the mob. 246 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,011 Oh, oh. Yes, of course. 247 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:40,140 That was, uh, terrible. You had already waited. 248 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,183 What was the point of going back again? 249 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,809 You would've lost your appetite. 250 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,229 I agree with you, Mr. David. 251 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,525 How do you know my name? 252 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,487 I know everything about you. 253 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,655 I was sitting there having my brunch, 254 00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:59,367 and I saw you. 255 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:03,163 And I was thinking, as a devout Muslim, 256 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,373 I should kill this man. 257 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,708 Fatwa. 258 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,169 And then you defended me. 259 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,629 I thought to myself... 260 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,967 I cannot kill this man. 261 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,052 This man doesn't deserve to die. 262 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,638 No. No, I don't. I don't! 263 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,559 I do have some friends in high positions. 264 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,937 I think I need to bring to their attention 265 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:31,065 that you are not the man they think you are. 266 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,526 Anything you want to know, I'll give you full access. 267 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,153 I'm an open book. 268 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,155 You will be hearing from me. 269 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,240 What-- what is your name? 270 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:43,745 My name is not important. 271 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,291 - Hey! - Oh, hey. Um... 272 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,628 - You okay? - Yeah, I was just talking to this guy. 273 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,588 What guy? 274 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,048 Oh. 275 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,508 Let's go. 276 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,718 Huh. 277 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,556 [Larry] That was a lot of fun. 278 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:04,891 That horse, he was so close! 279 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,684 - He should've won! - I know, I know, I know. 280 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,020 I know. I was-- I was excited for you. 281 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:12,899 By the way, this is-- what are we on? 10 hours now together? 282 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,734 It's been incredibly fun. 283 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,653 And I can't believe 284 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,947 you made that appointment at-- at Pemberton. 285 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,198 I'm so grateful. 286 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:23,326 Believe me, once I get through with those Pemberton people, 287 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,828 they're gonna beg this kid to go to that school. 288 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,914 Do-- do you wanna come in? 289 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,666 - Do I wanna come in? - Mmm. 290 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,544 Because I'm feeling pretty grateful. 291 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,923 Are you saying that, uh... 292 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:40,051 gratitude sex is in the offing? 293 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,345 If you're okay with gratitude sex, I mean-- 294 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,264 You know what, I've never had gratitude sex, 295 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:47,392 mainly because I've never done anything that someone could be grateful for. 296 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:51,229 But people tell me that gratitude sex is the ultimate. 297 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,940 It's hard to explain. I'd rather just show you. 298 00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,275 - Sure, yeah. - You know? 299 00:12:57,068 --> 00:13:00,196 Hey, honey. Uh, I thought Nancy put you to bed. 300 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,823 She did. 301 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,034 Well, it's time for bed. It's past your bedtime. 302 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,412 - It's past his bedtime. - [Bridget] Hey, now. 303 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,414 Go to your room, okay? 304 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:13,251 I'll hang out in my room, but I'm not going to bed. 305 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:16,838 I've never seen an old man in sneakers before. 306 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,423 Okay, that's-- go to your room. 307 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,300 That's so stupid. 308 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,760 - [Bridget] Eddie! Go. - [Larry] That's a good one. 309 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,263 You know, it's-- he's on the spectrum. I'm sorry. 310 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,806 Ah, the spectrum. 311 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,475 He's on the spectrum. Yeah. 312 00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:34,439 Guess that's that. 313 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,482 He won't listen to me, but... 314 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:40,361 maybe you can-- you can get him to bed. 315 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,738 The offer still stands. 316 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,952 Yeah! 317 00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:03,468 All right, you little prick, okay? 318 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,511 I got some gratitude sex coming to me, and you're not gonna ruin it. 319 00:14:06,636 --> 00:14:08,014 You got it? 320 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:08,973 Now get under those covers. 321 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,350 You're gonna go to sleep, 322 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,309 and I'm gonna have sex with your mother. 323 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:20,902 Hello. 324 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,738 You're looking at a man with an "A" on his shirt... 325 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,073 for "apology." 326 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,741 - Is that so? - Yes. 327 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,159 I'm sorry for the other day. 328 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,786 There was nothing I could do. 329 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,496 We had to leave, so I left. 330 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,207 Quite an expensive bottle of champagne 331 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:35,583 I wound up paying for. 332 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,667 We ordered the champagne 333 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,628 because you wanted to live it up. 334 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,172 You said, "Let's live it up." I would never live it up. 335 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,882 I live it down, I don't live it up. 336 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,509 Okay, maybe I said, "Let's live it up." 337 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,636 - You did. - I wanted to have a good time, that's all! 338 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,846 So anyway, so you're here to what? 339 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,182 Apologize. I'm sorry! 340 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,683 For leaving me with the bill? 341 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,978 No, I'm sorry for leaving early. 342 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,730 That's what I'm sorry about. 343 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,399 I don't mind you leaving early, 344 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:04,070 but I think the proper apology would be to say, "I'm sorry. 345 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,197 Here's $250 for the champagne." 346 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,449 - Okay? - That's a cash apology. 347 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,076 My apology is from the heart. 348 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,994 That's something that means something. 349 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,122 Why do you come to the office to apologize without offering the money? 350 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,498 Because I felt bad! 351 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,333 If you feel bad, you offer the money! 352 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,377 - No, you don't! - You don't understand feeling bad! 353 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,587 Feeling bad is feeling in the heart, not in the wallet! 354 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,382 - No, feeling bad is making it up! - It is not! 355 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:29,095 Well, to come here and apologize without taking your wallet out 356 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,348 and offering, who knows if I would even accept it? 357 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,600 There's not even an offer! 358 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,394 Let's go to lunch, talk it over. 359 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,062 - Okay. Yeah. - Okay? 360 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,440 I gotta take a quick piss. 361 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,733 - Mr. Larry. - Ah, Cesar. 362 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,987 I want to thank you for offering me to watch the game on your TV. 363 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,864 Ah, well, you're very welcome. 364 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,533 - But unfortunately, I couldn't make it. - What? 365 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,870 Yeah, my wife, she wanted me to do a bunch of chores in the house, 366 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,413 so I-- I couldn't come. 367 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,999 I'm, uh-- well, I'm sorry to hear that. Too bad. 368 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:02,920 But, uh, you-- you're a member of a nice country club, sí? 369 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:06,174 - Yeah? - Can I bring my family there for a nice little swim? 370 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,842 Little Cesar's like Aquaman. 371 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,929 No. No, you can't-- you can't bring your family there, no! 372 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,016 - But-- but why not? - It's not the way it works. No! 373 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,601 I don't understand your lack of generosity. 374 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,603 Lack of generosity? What are you talking about? 375 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,438 I gave you a tip, which you turned down. 376 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,273 I did not take it, so you owe me a favor. 377 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,776 I already repaid you a favor that I didn't even owe you! 378 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:29,238 The whole point of the tip is for you to be indebted to me. 379 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,199 Now you've-- you've reversed it! 380 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,366 Now I'm indebted to you. 381 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,118 You flipped it! You flipped the tip! 382 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,620 I promised Little Cesar. 383 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,165 All right. This is the last one. 384 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,209 Okay? This is it. 385 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,294 And next time I give you a tip, you take it, okay? 386 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,339 - Okay, Mr. Larry. - But the country club is out. 387 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,507 You can't swim there. They're racist. 388 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,883 They're not gonna let you in there. 389 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,885 Why are you a member of a racist club? 390 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,887 They're all racists. That's the way they operate. 391 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,639 How about your pool? 392 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,724 Oh, I would, but the heater in my house 393 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,644 got all screwed up and nothing's working now, and the pool's not working. 394 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,480 I bet you have friends with nice pools. 395 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,317 Hey... 396 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,984 your pool working? 397 00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:09,195 Yeah. 398 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,781 Can Cesar and his family use your pool? 399 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,325 - Who's Cesar? - Yo. 400 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,660 Nice to meet you, Cesar. 401 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,203 Nice to meet you, sir. 402 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,412 Can he use my pool? 403 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,165 It's hot out, they have no place to swim, and... 404 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,584 At this time of year, 405 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,378 we might have family coming over. 406 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,506 You know, I never know-- - I'll tell you what. 407 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:31,008 We call it even, the $250. 408 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,220 - So you're never gonna mention it again? - Never again. 409 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,513 - When do you want to come over? - On Saturday. 410 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,432 [Cesar] What time is good for you? 8:00 a.m.? 411 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,977 - [Funkhouser] Uh, let's make it 8:30. - Thank you, sir. 412 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,561 - Hey, do me a favor. - Yes, sir. 413 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,439 No diving, and try to stay in the shallow end, okay? 414 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,858 - That's his number. - Oh, thank you, Mr. Larry. 415 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,861 Little Cesar is gonna be so happy. 416 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,488 Gracias. 417 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,410 Larry David paid you for your services? 418 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,161 Hell, yeah, he did. 419 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,539 But all he did was use me to get in the carpool lane 420 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,583 so he can get to the Dodger game. 421 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:08,462 So you're saying that, uh, your encounter was not of sexual nature. 422 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,381 Hell, no! 423 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,465 He could've had all this! 424 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,887 I still don't understand. 425 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:20,474 How can your father be a kamikaze pilot when he's still alive? 426 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,103 He grazed the ship. 427 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,063 Grazed, but not fatal. 428 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,108 No. 429 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,111 Then Larry was right. 430 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,196 So, Larry David went on a date with you 431 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,906 and carried you upstairs? 432 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,034 Yeah. I didn't want him to. 433 00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:40,411 - Oh, he insisted? - Yes. 434 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,414 You know, I wasn't the only girl in a wheelchair he was dating. 435 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:47,460 So, he went out with two different women with disability? 436 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,337 At least. 437 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,088 Commendable. 438 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,425 I'd see Larry occasionally. 439 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:58,012 I guess you would say I had some issues with him. 440 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,723 But wasn't the real issue 441 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:04,727 the... big vagina? 442 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,897 Yes. It's big. 443 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:10,232 Big enough to steal 444 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:13,861 a Mickey Mantle autographed baseball? 445 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,530 - Yes. - Hmm. 446 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:21,035 He took a word in one of my rhymes and changed that shit. 447 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,496 And it opened up lyrically for me. 448 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,330 It was amazing, man. 449 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:29,001 He also saved me from a marriage to a lesbian. 450 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,544 So, yeah... 451 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,381 that motherfucker's my Caucasian. 452 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,299 - Caucasian? - Write that shit down. 453 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,635 - He is your Caucasian, yes. - He is my Caucasian. 454 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,303 And a motherfucker. 455 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,347 So, we're on the ski lift and it's shkiyat hachamah. 456 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,890 And according to Jewish law, 457 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,726 I'm not allowed to be with a man alone after sundown, 458 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,103 so I asked him to jump. 459 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:49,313 And he refused, so I had to jump. 460 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:53,025 So he refused to follow the tenets of Jewish orthodoxy. 461 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,859 Oh, absolutely. 462 00:19:54,984 --> 00:19:56,404 Big time. 463 00:19:58,321 --> 00:19:59,782 Please continue. 464 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:04,244 So, he comes upstairs and he accuses me of clomping. 465 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,788 And I explained to him, I have these shoes, 466 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,791 these heavy shoes that I wear because my feet get cramped. 467 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,584 And they make noise. 468 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,044 I invite him in. 469 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:15,047 I offer him a soda. 470 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,883 He took it, and it exploded, and it got all over him, 471 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:20,386 and he got... upset. 472 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,763 - Now it's-- now it's-- - Mr. Fox... 473 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,974 did you clomp on purpose? 474 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:27,852 A little bit. 475 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:32,064 And did you embellish the shaking of the soda? 476 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,984 Yeah. 477 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,862 Thank you. 478 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:41,323 May I offer you some refreshment? 479 00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:43,409 No, thank you. 480 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,244 I pass, sir. 481 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,037 Pussy. 482 00:20:56,630 --> 00:21:00,217 Larry, thank you for all of the "Seinfeld" scripts 483 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,887 and memorabilia that you've donated to our fundraisers. 484 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,263 - It's really-- - Yes. 485 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:05,556 It's made a lot of money for the school. 486 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,016 So happy to do it. 487 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,059 And thank for allowing me to come in here today 488 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:14,482 and talk to you, uh, about this young man who I adore. 489 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,691 - Yes, Eddie. - Uh, Eddie, yes. 490 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,318 - Right. - Eddie, yes. 491 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,069 You know what? 492 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:22,656 I just feel like I'm ignoring you all the way on that side. 493 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,660 I should be here because sometimes women, they're a little, uh, 494 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,872 ultra-sensitive about being ignored at these meetings. 495 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,832 "Oh, oh, you don't talk to the woman," you know. 496 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,626 - Oh, no. - That's not me. That's not me. 497 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:36,462 Wherever you want to sit is fine. Please. 498 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:39,256 Okay, thank you. Thank you. 499 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:41,926 I actually would prefer to sit over there, but, you know. 500 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,636 - Well, please! - Feel free, Larry. 501 00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:46,138 Okay, all right, okay. Thank you. 502 00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,681 - All right, so! - Eddie. 503 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,434 You know, I-- I love this kid like-- like my own son. 504 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,729 - Mm-hmm. - Well, you know, like a nephew. 505 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:55,314 Actually, more like a foster child 506 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:57,650 who comes to your house, and all of a sudden, you go, 507 00:21:57,775 --> 00:22:00,653 "What the hell did I do? I got-- what am I, nuts?" 508 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:03,571 But, no, no, you grow-- you grow to love them. 509 00:22:03,696 --> 00:22:04,865 That's how I feel now. 510 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,407 It's-- uh, so... 511 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:11,121 Bridget is Eddie's mother, and she's your girlfriend? 512 00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:12,873 [Larry] Girlfriend... 513 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,710 I don't know, but she does have tampons in my house. 514 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,712 Okay, Mr. David, we just want 515 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:21,215 to get to the nature of your relationship because-- 516 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,343 - We were happy to do a favor for you, Larry. - Sure. 517 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,805 But-- - We just wanna make sure that it's just not a fling. 518 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:32,101 We're just interested in where you see this relationship going. 519 00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:33,811 Yeah, the relationship going. I don't know. 520 00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:35,646 You know, they're kind of tough. 521 00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:38,107 You get involved with somebody, and all of a sudden, 522 00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:40,401 you got to check in, you got to report in, 523 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,736 you got to text them, make those phone calls. 524 00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:45,573 You go away for a weekend with your friends on a trip to Vegas, 525 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:46,824 you come back, she says, "Did you had fun?" 526 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:48,659 You got to lie, say, "No, no, I didn't have fun. 527 00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:51,078 "No, no, it wasn't fun at all. Worst trip I ever made in my life." 528 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,164 Then she talks to one of your friends and they say they had a fantastic time. 529 00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:56,834 She comes back to me, she says, "Your friends said you had a great time." 530 00:22:56,959 --> 00:23:00,462 And you go, "No, no, they had a great time. I had a lousy time." 531 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,215 Uh... 532 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:07,553 in general, how are you with commitments, relationships? 533 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:10,097 I can't sleep with the same bed with anybody. 534 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,016 It's, ugh, a horrible night's sleep. 535 00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:15,102 You can't-- you-- I'm off in a corner like this. 536 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,689 You know, 'cause I don't want another body touching mine when I'm trying to fall asleep. 537 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,692 And you can't turn this way because then you get-- you got face-to-face. 538 00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,277 You don't wanna do that in the middle of the night. 539 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:26,446 Well, where-- where do you see the relationship going? 540 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,490 I see it going, hopefully, one day, 541 00:23:28,616 --> 00:23:30,868 to the point where I'll let her sleep in the guestroom. 542 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:32,744 I'm-- I'm shooting for that. 543 00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:35,998 Uh, we just want to make sure that Eddie is coming for the right reasons. 544 00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:37,583 Yes. Oh, well, yes. 545 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:41,295 And that you're in a long-term, committed relationship. 546 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,214 Well, I can-- I can give you nine months. 547 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,008 Um, that's... 548 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:49,678 Well, no, I can give you-- I can give you nine months. 549 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,430 Nine happy months. 550 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:54,516 Then I can give you years and years of-- of being miserable. 551 00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,101 But we'll be together! 552 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,394 Well, that's actually 553 00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,146 really what we're looking to hear, Larry, 554 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,522 is that you are gonna be together 555 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:02,273 for an extended amount of time. 556 00:24:02,398 --> 00:24:04,401 - Absolutely. - At least while Eddie is here at school. 557 00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:07,321 Unless she gets sick or something, in which case I'll-- 558 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,490 I'll leave her quickly. You could understand that. 559 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,367 I'm not gonna visit people in the hospital. 560 00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:13,369 I'm-- I'm not crazy, you know. 561 00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:14,578 Otherwise... 562 00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:17,539 I adore this woman. 563 00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:18,916 Excuse me. 564 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,626 Hello. 565 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:23,337 - LD, it's the Funk-Man. - Hey, I can't talk right now. 566 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,757 All right, I'll make it quick. I can't host Cesar's pool party. 567 00:24:26,882 --> 00:24:29,051 - What? Why? - Well, Marilyn wants us 568 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:31,512 to go to Catalina, so I've got to do it. 569 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:35,099 I'm very disappointed. And I'm sure Cesar will be, too. 570 00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:39,144 - And Little Cesar. - I don't know Little Cesar and I don't really know Cesar. 571 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:41,563 But, uh, we still on for brunch Sunday? 572 00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:42,815 Uh, I guess so. 573 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:43,857 Okay, I'll see you then. 574 00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:46,026 All right. Goodbye. 575 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:50,531 So, uh, Larry, again, we're very happy you came in, talked to us about Eddie. 576 00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:53,742 I think things, um-- I think look pretty good. 577 00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:55,160 We're very, uh... 578 00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:58,372 Could my handyman and his family 579 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,874 use your pool on Saturday? 580 00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:16,265 - Hi. - Hey. 581 00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:17,474 - Same table. - Is it? 582 00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:19,852 - Champagne. - Oh. 583 00:25:19,977 --> 00:25:22,229 This time we'll drink it. 584 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:23,647 What's the matter? 585 00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:27,443 I just got off the phone with the Pemberton Academy. 586 00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:28,819 What'd they say? 587 00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:30,195 Eddie didn't get in. 588 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,488 - He didn't get in? - No. 589 00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,032 Why? 590 00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:34,241 Because of the condition 591 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,660 that your handyman and his family 592 00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:39,079 left the Pemberton Academy pool. 593 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:40,580 What? What's the condition? 594 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:42,207 Befouled. 595 00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,460 Little Cesar befouled the pool? 596 00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:45,294 Why would you send them there? 597 00:25:45,419 --> 00:25:47,004 Of all the pools in California? 598 00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:49,006 I don't know, 'cause Little Cesar wanted to use a pool! 599 00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:50,590 I couldn't-- I couldn't refuse Little Cesar. 600 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,217 Why do they have to use a pool at all? 601 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:54,094 Cesar flipped the tip on me and, you know, 602 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,971 he wouldn't take the tip, so I was obligated to! 603 00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:57,181 - Hi! - Hello! 604 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,016 More obligated than to-- hi! 605 00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,185 - Hi. - How are you? 606 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:02,853 What a day! 607 00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:04,605 We just came back from Catalina. 608 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:07,232 - Oh, heard that's beautiful. - What a cruise! 609 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,109 - Dolphins! - Great boat, beautiful. 610 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,028 - Magnificent. - I think I got too much sun. 611 00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,279 [Funkhouser] How are you guys doing? 612 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:16,157 Gosh, I am so sorry, but I think I have to go. 613 00:26:16,282 --> 00:26:19,578 - Oh, no. - We just had a "go home" argument, and I have to go. 614 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,705 Oh, no, no, no. Don't do that! No, don't do that! 615 00:26:22,830 --> 00:26:25,417 I just feel so upset. I'm not gonna be able to rally for today. 616 00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,002 - Yeah. - Thank you. You understand. 617 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,879 - Thanks for trying. - Oh, no. I'm sorry, no. 618 00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,090 I'll see you, maybe, again, but who can say? 619 00:26:31,215 --> 00:26:34,802 - I might not. - No, I'm so-- ah! Ah, I'm sorry! 620 00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,637 Enjoy the champagne. 621 00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:39,138 - I'm sorry! Ah! - Here we go. 622 00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:49,358 Oh! 623 00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:58,450 Mr. David, get in. 624 00:26:58,575 --> 00:27:01,328 Get-- get in the car? What, where-- where are we going? 625 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,872 I haven't even had-- had brunch yet. 626 00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,415 Get in. 627 00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:06,917 Okay. 628 00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:10,295 Oh, my God. 629 00:27:10,420 --> 00:27:11,463 Go. 630 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,594 [Moret] There was no reason for me to get to the back of the line. 631 00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:19,930 As I said, I had already waited, 632 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:26,103 and those brunch buffet lines are interminable. 633 00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:28,272 Yes, I am familiar 634 00:27:28,397 --> 00:27:30,648 because they cook the eggs while you wait. 635 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:36,155 And all I wanted-- just a little bit more home fries. 636 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,656 Ah, yes, home fries. 637 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:39,867 A nice complement to the eggs. 638 00:27:39,992 --> 00:27:41,577 With ketchup? 639 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,328 Yes, of course. 640 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:50,377 So it seems wrong to wait 15 minutes just for that. 641 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,462 Yes, of course. Why even get them? 642 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:55,715 Exactly. So I took a chance. 643 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,176 But the outcry 644 00:27:57,301 --> 00:28:00,345 was unlike anything you could ever imagine. 645 00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:02,472 You are perceived as a cutter. 646 00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:05,392 There's nothing Americans hate more than a cutter. 647 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:06,476 - He is right. - It's true. 648 00:28:06,602 --> 00:28:10,522 You're right, Mufti. I was humiliated. 649 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,648 But this man... 650 00:28:12,773 --> 00:28:14,693 he rose to my defense. 651 00:28:14,818 --> 00:28:17,321 He said I have every right 652 00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:20,407 to get seconds without waiting. 653 00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:23,035 He was forceful, passionate, 654 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,329 and courageous. 655 00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:28,790 When the American blood sugar gets low, 656 00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:30,584 they turn into animals. 657 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,044 It's very intimidating. 658 00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:33,754 - True. - I have seen it. 659 00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:36,173 [Moret] Not this man. 660 00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:37,840 It was something to see. 661 00:28:37,965 --> 00:28:41,428 And that's why I come before you 662 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:45,474 to beg you to reevaluate his case. 663 00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:49,895 I have read the report of your investigation with great interest. 664 00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:52,898 However, there are many things in his past 665 00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:55,859 which contradict his behavior in the restaurant. 666 00:28:55,984 --> 00:29:01,573 For example, this business about not giving out candy on Halloween. 667 00:29:01,698 --> 00:29:03,825 Surely that cannot be justified. 668 00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:07,537 With all due respect, he did give out candies. 669 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:11,375 But the girls in question, they were teenagers. 670 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:12,960 Much too old to be tricking. 671 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,420 Tricking or treating? 672 00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:17,923 This is all so very confusing. 673 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:19,549 Well, you play tricks 674 00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:22,552 if you don't get the treat, is my understanding. 675 00:29:22,678 --> 00:29:25,222 [Muftis murmuring] - Yes, I believe that is correct. 676 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:26,974 That is confusing. 677 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,392 But the girls were 16. 678 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:31,728 You don't trick when you're 16. 679 00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:35,190 That's not tricking, that's stealing. 680 00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:37,359 By denying them candy, 681 00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:39,903 he was teaching them a lesson. 682 00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:41,613 Yes. 683 00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:44,324 I see your point. 684 00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:46,868 Ah, very good. Very good. 685 00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:49,413 Pass the plates, gentlemen. 686 00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:52,916 - Falafel. Yes, falafel. - Mufti 2: Another falafel over here. 687 00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:54,251 - Kabob. - Kabob for me. 688 00:29:54,376 --> 00:29:57,254 - Onion rings. Yes. - Ah, French fries. 689 00:29:57,379 --> 00:30:01,883 [Mufti] But what about his values? 690 00:30:02,009 --> 00:30:03,635 His lust knows no bounds. 691 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,514 He will have sexual congress with anyone, anytime. 692 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:09,808 Including a Palestinian. 693 00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:12,436 What? Is this true? 694 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,313 This is so? 695 00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:16,064 You know this for a fact? 696 00:30:16,189 --> 00:30:17,649 Twice. 697 00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:18,817 Twice! 698 00:30:18,942 --> 00:30:20,319 A Muslim woman? 699 00:30:20,444 --> 00:30:21,361 [Moret] Yes, Mufti, 700 00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:22,654 she is a Muslim. 701 00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:26,867 [Mufti] Very interesting. 702 00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:29,661 This is new information. 703 00:30:29,786 --> 00:30:32,539 I will personally contact the ayatollah 704 00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:35,459 and let him know what we have learned. 705 00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:39,129 I can say without reservation 706 00:30:39,254 --> 00:30:42,257 that he will rescind the fatwa. 707 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:46,887 - You are free to go. - Thank you, "Moofti"! "Muff-ti"! 708 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:49,014 Thank you all, moo-mooftis and muff-tis. 709 00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:50,390 Is it "muff-ti" or "Moofti"? 710 00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:51,600 "Moofti." 711 00:30:51,725 --> 00:30:53,185 - "Moovti." - "Moovti." 712 00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:54,770 Thank you, "Moovtis." 713 00:30:54,895 --> 00:30:57,022 Thank you so-- but what about the musical? 714 00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:59,107 Um, the musical "Fatwa!"? 715 00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:02,194 I will say this about the musical... 716 00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:05,822 if you can get Lin-Manuel Miranda, 717 00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:07,449 you know, from "Hamilton"... 718 00:31:07,574 --> 00:31:09,868 Yes! I love "Hamilton"! 719 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,996 If you can get Lin-Manuel Miranda to star, 720 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:14,331 you can proceed with the musical. 721 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:15,832 How am I gonna get Lin-Manuel? 722 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,459 He-- he's got his own stuff he does. 723 00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:19,378 He's not gonna be in this. 724 00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:21,004 What are you doing with the ketchup? 725 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:22,506 You used up all the ketchup! 726 00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:25,759 - I like ketchup. - Show some restraint. 727 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,844 You're never going to eat all that. 728 00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:30,764 Is there a shortage of ketchup that I was not aware of? 729 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:34,810 This is why I have been advocating for packets, but no one will listen! 730 00:31:34,935 --> 00:31:39,147 - Now, that's a good idea. - I cannot eat onion rings without ketchup. 731 00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:41,108 The whole snack is ruined! 732 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:43,527 - Wait, don't go! - Please, no! 733 00:31:43,652 --> 00:31:45,529 How am I gonna get Lin-Manuel? 734 00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:48,031 Mufti 3: You're being a baby. 735 00:31:48,156 --> 00:31:49,783 Thank you. 736 00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:03,046 Huh. Okay. 737 00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:05,924 - Here you are. - All right. Very nice. 738 00:32:06,049 --> 00:32:08,093 - All right. - Thank you so much for everything. 739 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:10,512 I really appreciate it. Let me, uh-- before you go. 740 00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:11,888 No, I can't take that. 741 00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:13,306 - Oh, no. - Please, put it back. 742 00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:14,891 - I insist. - No, I cannot take this. 743 00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:16,685 - What? Come on, please. - I cannot take it. 744 00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:18,728 - Take the money. What? - No. You are going to embar-- 745 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,313 - You are offending me. - You're offending me! 746 00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:23,942 - I'm not taking-- - Look. Yeah, take it. 747 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,403 - I don't want it. Yeah. - No! Take it back! 748 00:32:26,528 --> 00:32:27,654 I don't want it! 749 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,823 I can't take that from you, sir! 750 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,575 I will not take this tip, okay? 751 00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:32,576 Take the money! 752 00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:34,661 You ain't gonna flip a tip on me!